Forgiving

At church this morning, Jeff's talk got me thinking - and wanting to blog. We are winding down a series at church on the book The Shack; and this mornings topic was on forgiveness and how important it is.

A couple years ago, I was going to a christian counselor to work through some things in my life. It was more a discipleship program, for lack of better words, than anything else. One of the first things we did, was to spend several weeks on forgiveness, the concept, how important it is, and then an excersize where I forgave people in my life I needed to forgive. I spent an entire week praying and asking God to reveal to me anyone in my life, currently or in the past, who had hurt me, intentional or not, that I needed to forgive. It didn't matter how petty it seemed, if I felt I needed to forgive them, I wrote their name down.

Then at our meeting that week, I sat in a chair, and across from me was an empty chair. I took my list, and one by one, pretended the person I was forgiving was in that chair, and I talked to them. Outloud. I told them what they had done to hurt, me, then told them that I forgave them, verbally. For some, there wasn't a lot of emotion, and for others, I could barely get the words out. I also had to forgive myself, and God. I know, God has never actually done anything against me, but being human, we often get angry at God and feel he has hurt us, or we just don't understand what's going on.

Forgiveness is a decision. I still do this activity, slightly modified, from time to time. Sometimes I don't feel like forgiving someone, it is more comfortable to hang onto that hurt and anger. But as a Christian, I am told to forgive. It really isn't an option in my opinion. Like Jeff said, I don't always forget, and sometimes there is still a lot of pain even after I forgive that person. However, somehow, the simple act of deciding to forgive, and speaking the forgiveness, makes the pain slowly begin to subside. It starts the healing process.

On another topic - at Threshold, we feel God has called our church to double in size by this coming Easter. To really reach out to the community and touch peoples lives. Part of this is a challenge by Jeff (our pastor) to pray for one person in our lives, for an opportunity to talk take our relationship to a deeper level, and eventually invite them to visit our church. Jeff is also praying for that person along with us.

This reminded me of something today.

When I was in high school; I didn't make the best decisions, and, well, we'll say I ran with the wrong crowd. Typical bad high school stuff, but details aren't needed. I grew up in church, but just wasn't really living right. I had a friend, Thurston, who I hung around with a lot, but he wasn't into the same stuff I was. He was into the "straight edge" scene. Well, we both ended up going to App. State; and halfway through my first semester, a girl I grew up at church with finally talked me into going to inter-varsity. I was tired of all the partying, and really ready for a change. I was just ready. So I went, and I actually ended up re-connecting with quite a few people I went to high school with. Thurston was one of those. I got really involved with inter-varsity, and it made a huge change in my life. I took a total 180 degree turn. Thurston and I were in a small group together, and one night, he said he wanted to talk to me. He told me he had been praying for me for several years. And that to see how much I had changed and who I was now meant the world to him. I still get emotional about it.

The fact that one person cared enough about me to pray for me for several years, and was able to see a dramatic change in my life, is still amazing to me. It is something I will never forget.

The whole point of that story is if you are praying for one person, don't give up. Continue to pray for them, and one day, maybe a few years later, you may be able to see that person change their life. It is so worth it. You don't have to tell them you were praying for them, but if you do, it could make their year.

Jeff and I are praying for a friend of mine. I have a hard time getting to know people, I'm kind of an introvert. I get really scared and nervous talking to people I don't really know, and even reconnecting with people I haven't seen in years. I'm working on it though.
Well this week I came out of my cave and spent some time with this person we are praying for. One small step, but proof enough for me of the power of prayer, and that I really can do anything.
So maybe one day, I'll be able to see a change in her life, and tell her that I've been praying for her. Hopefully it won't be years though.

Who do you need to forgive? and who are you praying for?